Seasonal Emotional Breakdowns

In the wake of the emotions that almost consumed me today I sat in the deep realisation of just how deeply one can lose themselves even in the smallest of emotions, a single feeling that creeps in gradually, slowly consuming your day, sucking the very joy out of your day, where yesterday you walked with a face full of smiles and contentment and today you are lost in feelings of “Why am I even alive, what is the purpose of all of this, why am I feeling this way”. How debilitating must it be when one moment you are completely content with life and the next you are ready to sign out, how deep must depression be, how sad must it be for those completely captured within this daily fight to remain in the light, one minute in complete control and the next completely content in closing the chapter on this existence.

adult art conceptual dark

As an observer I allow myself to feel these emotions, I observe the continuous chaos that evolves throughout the day completely aware that it is not who I am, that I am in the middle of a breaking of alignment and now I need to find ways to realign myself. The beauty about Eckhart Tolle and the like is that they speak so profoundly about these dysfunctions or moments of misalignment, where one loses control temporarily and that we should bathe in the acceptance of the present moment, that it simply does not quantify the full beautiful life one has lived and one will continue to live when this moment passes.

calm blue sea during golden hour

We hurry to find cures to these things, maybe if I ate ill feel better, maybe if I slept ill feel better, maybe if I went out with my friends it will go away when in actuality all that is necessary is to link into that realisation that it is okay not to be okay and that this too shall pass, Our minds are designed so intricately that even to this day we don’t have a complete view of its processes but within our minds lies a switch that wishes to be turned on, this switch feeds into all our dysfunctions it speaks of all our destructive desires, in essence its sole purpose is to allow us to exist within the sadness, the void, the pain, the negativity, within those feelings it wishes for us to destroy ourselves.

reflection of woman s eye on broken mirror

I’m an advocate for people fighting to live, for people conquering themselves and pushing on and experiencing this life in totality. I am a believer that all the forces trying to destroy us are energies beyond our comprehension that we step into a certain energy and it feed off our insecurities, all our fears and dysfunctions and slowly eats away at our happiness and hope, our will to live and our ability to keep the light on. Ultimately Ego and these Auras that surround us are sensitive radars that are continuously at work around us . So in the midst of my moment today I stepped back and reassessed the situation from a spiritual point of view, I consulted with people I love and within time I experienced a weight lifting off my shoulders and my Energy felt cleansed, within these moments we need to have spiritual soldiers, soul mates that realign us with our lives and show us  that the dysfunction is merely a virus trying to destroy our database.

photo of green data matrix

We as individuals need to link into these feelings and emotions within the people around us and follow whatever necessary procedures we have at our disposal to realign our friends and family because in all honesty these energies or viruses or emotions, dysfunctions are desperately trying to destroy the ones we love and add to the suicidal statistics, unfortunately not everyone is enlightened, not everybody is empowered and strong enough to face these things on their own, we need to mirror to them the love that surrounds them on a daily basis. With the chaotic evolution of life and technology that is speeding up yearly we are finding people are losing the ability to maintain themselves in this space, everything been too overwhelming, dysfunctions having so many different outlets to further depress and supress our happiness, we find children trying to keep up with trends and failing and in that disappointment committing suicide, kids trying to be the best athlete and by failing unable to accept the defeat and so ultimately resorting to suicide, depression statistics are ever increasing because the virus has mutated and been given so many outlets to destroy us that our minds, souls, energies, auras bodies just cant seem to keep up, people are getting sicker and sicker, mental disorders increasing the list is endless but not a single soul digs deeper and speaks about the root of all these issues, we always subscribe medication but never get to the diagnosis right.

addiction adult capsule capsules

The storm of thoughts and theories and possibilities are having the ultimate party in my mind, im constantly conscious always curious because for me there exists more within all the layers, I cannot seem to accept mediocre answers and explanations, there are dimensions and vibrational frequencies we have yet to tap into and they seem to be playing a part in this life. We are spiritual but I believe we are yet to truly discover the depths of just how unique and spirit based we are. We need to align ourselves to whatever God Source we believe in and allow them to continuously cleanse us as we walk this path towards enlightenment and further growth. Protect those you love, serve those who need help and be a light within the darkness. Our collective united pursuit for freedom and enlightenment will create a future beyond even our imagination.

woman holding we don t have time signage

Speak Life




Spirited Away

I started this blogging journey a year ago, I remember the hesitation, constant going back and forth between diaries and different methods to free the thoughts running around in my mind. I was a chaotic ball of thoughts and opinions, torn between facts and assumptions and it was the assumptions that consumed me because it was in the assumptions I was attempting to find self. Truth is we are all chaotic balls of confusion attempting to make sense of life. The Journey is brutal and in all honesty my biggest obstacle has been submitting to the reality of life at present within the notion of having an idea of what life should be. To see the true depths of the prison system that surround us on a daily basis, work, education, society, social media the list is endless and once one digs deeper and deeper the struggle to free self is a never ending pursuit. Am I content with life, in all honesty I have transcended living and am completely lost in experience, meaning I am an observer observing a life been lived. Submission to this false reality is something I simply cannot do, What do I mean when I speak of a false reality, I honestly feel that humanity is covered in a veil of lies interwoven and structured in a dome where one cannot escape until death, I don’t mean the Earth is some false dome, I mean the structures within the Earth itself and the way we are been programmed into thinking this is it in terms of life scares me. I sit on a beach and I am enveloped by a sea of emotions, how tiny and insignificant I come across yet filled with a power and an understanding that I am a piece of pure greatness, we are a collective of processes that have come together and created magnificence yet we are so lost in finding differences, dividing each other and been a separate form of greatness outside of the collective, that’s why we have the worlds greatest, the most beautiful, the most influential, the best this, the most that and oddly enough the most Godly. We have fractured our existence into minute pieces tearing us apart from the truth and reality of who we truly are.

silhouette of person holding glass mason jar

The debilitating notion for me is how we are unable to truly feel, I mean fall in love in totality, I speak of an unconditional love, the kind of love that is boundary less, I speak of a love that unites, the kind of selfless love that we don’t own  we merely experience it, because by owning it we give it the power to destroy us, love someone with the notion that even when they are not around that love never stops, love someone that even when they leave to find a more fulfilling love that you understand that it does not speak of the lack of love you have but rather that your love is meant elsewhere. We need to love each other as individuals, respecting that no material possessions or earthly acquiring can ever downplay the value of our collective significance, don’t see colour, don’t see sexuality, don’t see background, don’t see wealth and status…..see ME see US.

people between buildings

I carry you all with me wherever I go the past and the present, yet I’m always relentlessly in the pursuit of a more fulfilling tomorrow. Material possessions never been a focus of mine, yet a world of memories and experiences that money simply cannot buy, a deep appreciation for people who took time to share their journey with mine. I’m in love with this experience called life, yet I am disconnected by those trying to dim the light of all that we are and all we can ultimate become, We are a beautiful breath taking creation with an ability to decode our thoughts and to process all the chaos within and sculpt an understanding of self that will transcend our bodily forms. We as spirits have been blessed with an opportunity to reunite with the God Source yet we have  to put the work in everyday to get to the root of understanding this conundrum called life.

close up of hands holding baby feet

To say I’m this great philosopher or opened minded being would be a stretch what I am is a spirit curiously in pursuit of understanding, I am so complete in self that I will climb 100 mountains even with a world of evidence stating that nothing may lay at the top yet ill do so with the notion that I will have seeing so for myself, I refuse to be a sheep to a world of information that may not be designed in truth. I cannot speak on the bible if I haven’t read the bible, I cannot speak of something I haven’t personally immersed myself in, I can relay my opinion in my own personal view point but to speak as all knowing and as if I am the holder of truth and light would completely discredit any truth to what I say about self. A truly great quote from Einstein spoke words of ” If you cannot explain and make it understandable to a 7 year old then you my friend have no real understanding of it yourself”.

light sunset people water

My belief system is simple, I don’t believe we as human beings where put into this world to slave our lives away, I believe there is a far greater more meaningful reason, the world is expanding and evolving in the most beautiful light, to see human creativity and innovation on a daily basis is a gift yet even in those beauties lies layers of slavery, layers of a system where we are tied to certain things to survive. My heart refuses to be content in seeing people waking up at 6 in the morning exhausted miserable and completely disconnected in the pursuit to do so every single day until they almost die. My heart refuses to see human beings beautiful spirits struggling to put food on the table and to call this life. My heart is uneasy when I cannot help a fellow brother, sister and ensure that their burdens are lifted. My heart aches to see children being abandoned, woman been beaten, starvation, hunger, mental breakdowns, spirit on spirit violence, Animal abuse the list is endless and within that pain I have to find the strength to find the beauty amidst the chaos, the great wide ocean, blue sky filled with birds, Lakes filled with wildlife, beautiful pristine mountains, acres of trees, people smiling and laughing, children experiencing life, people designing things to fit society into life without leaving a wake of destruction and human ego.

photo of black rabbit

Escaping the rabbit hole aside, this world is a beautiful experience and when my time comes for me to return home I will have engrossed myself in everything, I will leave no stone unturned because my time is limited and I want to be able to transcend knowing every single moment was used in the pursuit of life. One day my words and this laptop, this office, these things that surround me will all have faded, but what remains is the memories downloaded into the Souls DNA never ending, everlasting even if unable to decode it on a soulistic level the feelings, the warmth will transcend aeons and those who shared moments with me will be warm energies I gravitate towards even in the after life. You Matter we all do, we are all intricate pieces of an experience called life, if you weren’t necessary you wouldn’t be here, nothing that happens is ever an accident but a collision of Time a collision written, scripted and designed solely for us, every hug, every kiss, every single moment drafted solely for us , individual stories yet part of an overall mass collective of amazing spirits.

Speak Life


view of dark hallway

Centred in my God Form

When one connects with the universe you find that it has its own voice, that what was once so silent is now a roaring voice undeniable in the space you exist in. This journey of enlightenment is truly a journey of rediscovery, everything that was blocked out and restricted through the process of you fitting into this sphere called life becoming reawakened and in that light so much clarity, so much beauty begins to surround your existence. We are truly spirits on a human existence, these body’s we use to immerse ourselves in this experience, a gift we begin to connect with and appreciate, where once I saw flaws now I dance in the beauty of “I AM”. How can I speak of enlightenment when I cannot see beauty in the darkness, how can I speak of enlightenment if I cannot dance in the flaws, the things that society scrutinize me on, on a daily basis. Awakening is the process of understanding there are no mistakes, there are no flaws but windows to further enlightenment, truly enlightenment is the stripping away of fears, expectations and desires because at the core all our desires have already been met, we are experiencing this life and that alone is enough, we have been given a portal to which we can save ourselves, where our presence can liberate the soul within, our healing thus becoming the healing for others.

Soul Mates are spiritual partners who walk with us through this journey constantly picking us up when we are down, reminding us to remove the seriousness of our daily lives, reminding us to be centred in the beauty of our existence. Soul mates are critical energies that help us to realign with our true purpose, they take us away from the darkness when we cannot do so for ourselves, soul mates remind us constantly that we are apart of the collective when the world is busy trying to create divisions. When we lose ourselves in the need to give our lives relevance to show the world that we matter, silent screams of look at me I’m here too, I matter please love me, please be gentle with me soul mates silence our fears our dysfunctions and realign us with purpose.

The collective is deeply pained and so every ounce of love and compassion reaches further than we can ever possibly imagine. We need to disconnect yet reconnect within, we need to take a moment and mediate in the beauty of existence, that within existence we get to feel emotions, love, we get to create life and enjoy the different energies around us and that our own personal energies have the power to effect others positively. When I speak words of ” I AM A GOD” it is a deep understand that I am a temple that contains the God Source within, that the energy within has been fused with the energy of the Universe. I am greatness and within that lies no need for the world to validate it because I feel it I live it and I encompass it in everything I do, I believe that my life is filled with purpose far greater than a 9-5, far greater than accumulating material possessions.

Within the layers of this life I am uncovering so many truths that have always been present in my life yet I’m only awakening to them now, the truth is enlightenment and spirituality is a gradual process, ever present yet in every moment new truths new facts appear before me and the internal growth surges forward in every moment I am becoming a more complete deeply understanding version of myself. Purpose is about breaking the bonds that once tied you, doing things you love even in the scope of the life you’re living, going to work 9 hours a day but within those 9 hours you are ever charging your soul with new information, new realisations. Purpose is mediating even in the moments where the world is testing you to the extreme, purpose in knowing your job, your titles, your accumulations don’t define you yet speak of your ambition to reach further to free yourself beyond societies understanding. We are slaves only those who have washed the false veil of illusion out their eyes are present in that understanding, its understanding that the system strategically put measures into place that we normalized and now anyone who goes against these standards is labelled a rebel, counter revolutionist, those who think beyond the scope of society called conspiracy theorists and almost bullied into submission but its that tireless work against submission that makes them unique that says no I shall not confirm to the structures you wish for me to obey and follow I am free, I am beautiful, I am a piece of the God Source.

My biggest gripe in modern times is defiant compliance that society has to the structures around them, so comfortable in working their lives away, so comfortable chasing careers for financial gain, so comfortable been lead like sheep in a paddock, so comfortable submitting their rights and dreams and desires in the control of those around them. We are so blind that even in sight we cannot see the whole picture, we are so obedient that even in the destruction of our rights and liberties we choose to submit our consciousness to obedience and conformity. When the world strips away our rights we creep into our homes praying and hoping that we can still maintain some form of control over the four walls we live in, when the four walls get invaded we creep into our minds and pray that we can maintain the rights over our body and thoughts, when our thoughts get invaded with propaganda we slowly begin to fall into fear and the same people create illusions within the walls of our minds creating a false sense of security and in time we cannot differentiate whether the thoughts are ours or prefabricated for us. Who are we if we lose our freedoms, who are we when fear becomes the trademark to our existence, who are we when we hand over our God given rights in the illusion that its for the best.

We raise Dogs and within time they showcase human qualities, they obey, they show signs of conformity, we shelter them make them feel warm but all we are doing is taking away their animalistic tendencies, we are wiping away their true identity all the while maintaining that its for their best interest, the Maker designed them perfectly yet over time we are washing away their true identity and making them conform to our expectations and desires…………….What makes you believe that the powers that be aren’t doing that to us, Prison systems, the education system, fear based propaganda, gun control laws, abortion laws, university and debts, flight restrictions, disease outbreaks, Technological mind programming systems (slay Queens, Brand Ambassadors, Influencers), the list is endless yet we choose to turn a blind eye and fall back into our obedient submissive tendencies. Only you can free yourself, the key is in your hands, those around you are merely stepping stones beautiful pieces of strength on your journey to rediscovering truth within, align with the universe, align with the truth, choose freedom.

Speak Life


Liberated from Darkness

Do not fear when darkness comes knocking at your door, do not fear when your day is filled with ill thoughts of this experience. When the void consumes you and you lose your ability to function, allow yourself to feel, to understand, to not only bask in the joys of prosperity but also be at peace in the emptiness. We have been taught for so long that is not okay to show your emotions, that you have to be held together and strong that nobody knows how to function in the darkness. The darkness is an extension of us, it is apart of us just as deeply as our DNA yet somehow we are taught to push it away and not pay it any mind. We need to transcend these beliefs, we need to dig deep inside ourselves and understand all these feelings whether good or bad, Dance in your sadness, understand that it too is temporary that you are the Master of your body and your existence and that you are in full control at all times.

two pilots sitting inside plane

Our society has been taught to not show emotion to such a degree that the emotions that they do show are more a reflection of a societal expectation rather than the truth within. People cant cope in relationships because for many it is an additional stage, a performance rather than an experience. We says words like “i love you” not truly having defined what love is for ourselves, We struggle to say “Im not okay” because for the longest time we have been judged and scolded for our weaknesses, the world is this ball of unreleased emotions and many people explode in unhealthy ways. The root cause is because the dynamics have been changed over time, for generations men have been told to be strong and held together, to be providers and to head the household, while women stayed at home and took care of the house, the women was this strength for a man, her presence liberated her man and all the storms he was facing, but over time the narrative has changed, where women have been pushed out the house to chase their own careers and now we are all in this individual pursuit of what life is and its created a disconnect, nobody has a home for their emotions, fears, concerns and burdens. The system has found the links, the so called strong holds and slowly created cracks, finding ways to divide and conquer, creating chaos in the family construct, redefining what love is “sex,money,fame and attention”, creating divides between nationalities, religions, races all a systematic program to push people further and further apart and within the layers of society this is becoming more and more evident.

men s black dress shirt

This disconnect we have with our darkness is what leads many people to commit suicide, what leads many people into mental health issues because we have yet to be taught how to take control of our emotional demons, we have yet to be taught that its okay not to be okay as long as you understand those emotions for what they truly are. Nobody embraces you when you’ve overcome any emotional challenge, no one says “well done i know that was not easy for you” or “What you managed to do pulling yourself from that dark space was beautiful you should be proud”. The reality is society and those close to you celebrate all your achievements, the things you obtain, the successes that are a societal standard yet condemn you for showing any weakness, for showing any negative emotions. Truth is the human existence is forged on the back of the knowledge that we are the greatest species alive, we are this superior thinking processing species and as such we need to carry ourselves in that manner, any weakness is not allowed, its an old time narrative that the strong get ahead while the weak are left behind to die, Survival of the fittest and that has watered down the experience for many, it has crippled people because that notion has transcended into so many aspects of our lives, The most beautiful always get chosen, the smartest always make the most money, the strongest always get the best girls, the ones with the most possessions or money get first pick at the dinner table. This is the society we have created, we have manipulated language so much that people can change the way we perceive this reality by merely using words.

yellow tassel

We need to breed a new generation that is liberated by their tears rather than crushed, a generation that speaks about the bad day they had rather than suffocating under the weight of all their pain, a generation that cares and uplifts each other, a new wave of humanity that is a support structure for each other, whether it be financial help, a ear to help you lighten your burdens, a generation of people who genuinely care without seeking validation or the need for recognition, a generation that understands we are in this together regardless of our individual pursuits. Darkness is apart of our journey just as deeply as light, Ego is apart of our construct just as deeply as consciousness, neither are evil and neither exist to destroy you, they are all teachers that exist within to not only strengthen us but to bring to light the different dysfunctions that need our attention. This stage is the greatest classroom we will ever witness, it has soul crushing lessons and experiences that will leave you in pure disbelief, the story of two wolves is a glimpse into all these entities and their roles in our lives, but beyond a glimpse it is a teaching that asks you a fundamental question……Are you strong enough, can you wake up and brave through the storms and never give up, are you willing to allow life and these obstacles to defeat you. The point is not always to stand but sometimes find yourself on your knees, the point is not always to bask in the sun but sometimes be found in the rain, the point is not always to succeed but to fail, the question though arises is what will you do in those moments, the question then arises “Who are you” and when one begins to uncover all these mysteries one becomes powerful beyond comprehension. You are an infinite source of excellence, capable of any and everything if only you believe.

photography of person walking on road

The only way you will see the picture is if you step out the frame. When we dance with the darkness we need to supply our own light, within the beautiful movements lies but the truth and in that truth a deep understanding that you are your own savior that you are the one in charge of how long this dance lasts and who comes out with the least amount of sweat.

flowers on opened book

“It is better to light one small candle than to curse the darkness”- Confucius

“Monsters are real , ghosts are real too. they live inside us, and sometimes they win too”

– Steven king

Life has dark moments and it is out of the darkness that we often find our greatest  beauties and strengths -William “The Conqueror” Bonac

Speak Life


men s white button up dress shirt


Emotionally Triggered

There exists a sickness that seems oddly incurable, society is shifting so deeply that normal seems abnormal, we are changing the scope of what is acceptable to a degree that even the mere act of holding your own children’s hands comes across as wrong or on the verge of pedophilia. Our elders used to punish us and give us some form of discipline to guide us and set us back on the right track yet that act today is seen as a criminal offence, we are restricting parents from being parents, we are restricting humanity to such a point that we are disconnecting physically from each other, a simple act of showing affection whether it be a parent or partner has become this disgusting act between people, we are criminalizing love and people are blind to it, you see it in how people act around each other, setting a distance or an acceptable interaction within public spaces. We are breeding a generation of children that are overly sensitive beings, people who personalize everything, we are misdirecting our anger, our insecurities, we turn to each other as this outlet for our dissatisfaction, people killing each other unnecessarily, Egos clashing with other egos, pride clashing with pride, this need to be superior, stronger, more important always at the forefront and funnily enough the powers that be feed into this, Police brutality, gang on gang violence, social media been funded and pushed as the forefront of entertainment, people unable to communicate face to face because social media has become the new portal to communication, we filter our truths, we filter our pictures, we filter our lives, we are breeding a generation that will be so deeply troubled, so psychologically broken and disconnected that we wont be able to function without our technological drip keeping us alive and in this matrix called life.

intravenous hose on person s hand

Attention has become this new found drug and people are attempting at all cost to overdose on it, we see it in the viral videos of people licking unsold ice cream containers, drinking or spitting into items intended for sale, we see it in the videos of women walking down the street topless or the pictures of women wearing the bare minimum, the dysfunction screaming look at me, im important i want success i want you all to validate my existence, im cool too. We see people seeking attention even in the most basic of things, heading into loveless relationships, hanging around people who seem put together to attain some form of attention and validation. We see it in the trends, “Let me be your fitness coach” or the “Im an influencer” or the people who scream “Im a Model”, the trends where people are trying this product or that product to have clearer skin, better bodies, people who are lost in this desire to be the absolute best version of themselves. There is a fine line where this may be completely normal but on the other hand a trigger to allow Ego to slowly break you down to the point of no return. We are using technology and social media as this outlet to express ourselves and the majority of things we come across only further debilitate us or invalidates our existence, we ask ourselves questions of why is my life so mediocre?, why cant i have clear skin?, why does my body look like this?…..constantly bombarded by images of what we should expect of our lives, yet not paying attention to our current circumstances, we lose focus of the now because we are so deeply rooted in the desire of a life that may only be destined in our tomorrow. People have fallen into the expectation that everything they desire and want should come knocking at their doors when in actuality we have to gradually crawl and claw towards our dreams, our dreams are this work in progress that is literally us working to make the progress to attain all we desire.

bedroom door entrance guest room

Technology was made as this escape from life, now we escape technology by locking ourselves into life. People are been locked up everyday because they have been consumed by this virus this disease called attention, people are so disconnected from the self that they numb the pain by expressing themselves in a way that is not always conducive, we do whatever it takes to just feel, to avoid at all cost the cold feeling of not really having a reason behind existence, we feed into the demon of doubt, wondering why was i chosen, what is my purpose, why am i going through these trials and tribulations while others prosper and live lavishly, but the truth is even those who have it all are crumbling and broken inside, even those with perfect skin deal with issues of self worth and not fitting into society, even those who are billionaires have sleepless nights because even with money their emptiness consumes them. We are a product of a system designed especially to separate us, to put us into different classes, our self worth and standing in life dictated to us on a daily basis, “You are from the slums so you have to work twice as hard to be successful” not realizing that true success begins within, “You are rich how can you have any problems with all that money” not realizing that money does not shield us from the pain and trauma of life”, “You have a roof over your head and food on the table dont be ungrateful” not realizing that regardless of what surrounds us life still has its burdens, pains and moments it desires for all of us to experience. The sad reality is, life needs to drown us in money to realize that money is not the cure, Life needs to take away all we have obtained to appreciate all we had, life has to take people out our lives to truly appreciate their presence, life has to destroy our views of life before we see the bigger picture, there are those who see life for what it truly is, others who are in the process of processing life in totality and those who live in denial until unfortunately they too have to face the truth to life.

sky space dark galaxy

Peoples death beds should not be this huge moment of realization of the truth to life but rather a gradual daily realization should be occurring in every moment. Love is the cure, when someone is acting out in anger show them love, when someone is having a bad day show them love, when someone is facing the world show them love, in this generation where love is been criminalized show love on a scale the world has not seen before, we are creation completely designed and made of love and so within that notion we should carry ourselves with love, take each moment and express the purest love we have.

baby children cute dress

People are dying everyday, some getting killed mercilessly, others losing their lives to gang wars, the world is full of untold evil and to be honest expressing love in those moments is damn near impossible yet it is within those moments when love is the most powerful its in those moments that love can spark a change in someone deeply lost in the darkness, its in those moments when the inescapable truth to love is evident to even the coldest of people. We are a product of an ever evolving world, changes occurring everyday, we see the world of yesterday and wonder how all this came about, yet the world of tomorrow will look back in time and wonder how we lived within the parameters we exist in at present. Life is meant to change, we are meant to evolve, time is this beautiful gift where we can change even the very dis…ease within us, while shaping society at large we need to shape ourselves into better people, we need to spark the minds that will bring about peace and stability for generations to come, we may not reach ultimate enlightenment but we have this gift that will allow us to pave the way for others to do so. Life itself is a gift, people around you are a gift we are apart of this intricately designed web of confusion and its up to us to make whatever sense we possibly can out of this.

Speak Life


baby holding human finger

My Cable is Unplugged

Somethings missing, all around me im surrounded by society yet somehow feel so distant so disconnected. I see this process this race this thing everybody calls existence, yet it makes absolutely no sense to me, within the layers exists a beauty even my cold presence cannot deny yet, the foundation seems counter intuitive to the true purpose of our making. The endless hours spent at work, meetings, so called important events that will shape the world as we know it yet somehow we have lost the overall purpose. Sitting atop a mountain one day the gravity of existence hit me, we are mere ants on this surface called Earth, our futile attempts to solidify our existence, our presence could easily be wiped away by some great flood, some world shaking earthquake, a Volcanic eruption, so why then are we so desperately in this pursuit to have our existence validated. Why are we so inclined to chasing this so called life changing event that will somehow summarize existence for us all.

woman in white dress shirt

In the midst of our own chaotic internal battle with self, also exists this collective battle with all those around us, we are this coming together of shared dysfunctions, fears, unwillingness to accept that life is merely just life to the degree that united we are forging our own destruction. Understand me when i say this, these moments are merely an individuals perspective of how life is evolving at present, to stand and speak in tongues of the all knowing and greatest minds of our time would be not only foolish but egotistical, i am merely an observer sharing his view point, in the midst of awakening and transcendence exists a unseen war for Ego to continue to exist. Ego is deeply apart of us, a silent voice that wishes to personalize everything that enters its space, it wishes to further debilitate the individual it has found a home in to a point where the individual loses all ability to rationalize and make sense of even the most basic of interactions. We hear about the “War in Afghanistan” and somehow it becomes this threat on our safety where all facts lose their ground and we fall into this illusion that the world is attacking us personally, we disagree with individuals only to have it come across as an attack on our integrity and who we are as a person, we lose sight of the fact that the world is not our enemy but we are the enemy, we seek peace yet misunderstand the quote that peace begins within, when we as a collective stand back and destroy the demons within, the false voices within, the desire to be right and to have our presence be more important than the person next to us, when we deal with our scars and bruises only then can we truly manifest this peace we so deeply desire.

trees in park

We need to understand that the whole world is not trying to destroy us, the world is not trying to attack our image, the world is not this space of chaos and pain, the love exists, the world has this beautiful mix of cultures, individuals from all works of life who are filled with spirits that unite us to this experience called life. A great writer once stated that when the world is in chaos and filled with pain, look at the people who are doing good, within the layers of destruction will always exist a group of openhearted willing individuals waiting to recreate.  For those who are struggling to make sense of this experience comes this deeper understanding that understanding is as necessary as the army’s of the world, it is a figment of our imagination, we see it as this necessity when in actuality, we need not know what is already known. You cannot search for something that already exists within “I am because we are”. My life makes absolutely no sense yet in every aspect of everyday i am present and i am absorbing every single piece of knowledge that is passed my way, whether i repeat lessons i am awareness in my own story.

blur book stack books bookshelves

Speak Life


Degrees of Awareness

The universe has this beautiful way of repeating lessons we may not be paying attention to. How does one break the cycle honestly its about being aware of the lesson and why its been brought into your life. Sometimes life blesses you with two gifts, the original gift been exactly what you prayed for and waited for but the second gift may be this distraction that may come across as greater and more appealing but in all honesty its all an illusion a beautiful test to see how worthy you are of the original gift. Be aware of yourself and these tricks that the universe plays on you, the ultimate goal is to align us with what we deserve and what will ultimately make you truly happy. One cannot speak of enlightenment if one has no true grasp on the dysfunctions that exist within, your intuition is this beautiful silent piece of you that makes you aware of these moments brought to you to awaken you from your slumber, it is this feeling that lets you know something is just not right, intuition is this beautiful connection between life and the spiritual, it reads into the essence of people and the essence of a specific moment, when you dont feel comfortable around someone or when you merely feel as if your presence does not fit in certain spaces this is a moment to delve within and trust that feeling to truly understand that the universe is speaking in a language that may not be within the scope what can be worded.

photo of assorted letter board quote hanged on wall
Photo by Mikechie Esparagoza on

We too often push this feeling of unease away, always trying to justify it or make it seem as if over time understanding will come knocking at our door. Truth is unease is your souls way of telling you it has disconnected and wants you to disconnect physically. Observing society has been this beautiful gift of truly seeing the dysfunctions that surround us, people living in complete denial, believing themselves to be happy or content when in actuality its this deep fear of been alone, its this fear of feeling as if they are not apart of the social norm. We find people broken unable to function when alone, people forcing themselves into situations that in a sense fit societies narrative of “Happiness’, denial is this subliminal curse that says if i have this ill be happy, if im with this person ill be happy, when i reach this milestone ill be happy…….this deep rooted illusion where people are trying their utmost to avoid dealing with the void within. Emptiness cannot fill emptiness, we have this belief that the answer is external when in fact we are the masters holding the band-aid that will ultimately heal ourselves, my biggest issue in life is people who exist in this life walking daily with the belief that their lives are perfect, that somehow the scars of life have not tainted them, people who hide behind this bravado of strength and put togetherness when in fact they are just as broken as the next person.

photo of shattered mirror near ladder

Awakening is this beautiful transition from the falsehoods of society, its a deep understanding that solitude is not a curse but a gift, that not been okay does not mean the end of your life, that not having everything you desire does not mean you dont have everything you need to align yourself with the divine, the God source the Universe. Living life on this basis that you need to have this or have that to feel fulfilled is this distraction society has created to distract us from our true purpose, we are perfection and that needs not be validated, we are enough and so another persons presence should never alter that thought from our minds or be the validation to that notion, we are enough and so nothing external should lead us closer to that realization. Watching society and these hollow shells existing in a plane where material things are the essence of life is this saddening yet liberating experience, We close ourselves off always on this mission to attain more, enjoy more, do more because we have attributed doing to existing. Sad truth is there are those around us who are in a false awakened state, consuming information yet lacking the depths to truly encompass the teaching of information, we have those who see themselves as enlightened but are so deeply rooted in darkness that a flicker of light seems to be the little hope to make their self worth flourish.

background blur bokeh bright

Enlightenment, Awakening, seeking the divine is far beyond a book or daily meditation or eating a certain way, its this beautiful understanding that we are part of the collective, that all who surround us play a role in teaching us about ourselves, you will find yourself within an interaction, how you respond how you convey yourself in those moments does not speak on the other person but about yourself and the deep rooted dysfunctions within. Awareness is knowing that even a single moment a single flash in time is this beautiful glimpse into who you are, when one connects with that moment one gains an insight into ones self , you see how over time society, scars, bruises, life has shaped you and you are gifted with a beautiful opportunity to introspect and ask yourself “Is this who i truly am”. We cannot obtain any freedom from self if we are not deeply aware of self. We cannot rise above this man made image of ourselves if we are not aware that we are a man made product. We are born a blank canvas information and data constantly installed into us, within Awakening lies and opportunity to rewire ourselves and choose what information fits our desires of who we want to be.

blur computer connection electronics

The shift is happening every single day, society is awakening to how beautiful and important they are, society is waking up to the understanding that slaving their lives away is not what we where meant to do, that our journey is about self discovery, about returning to the divine enlightened. Wash away the desire for materialism, wash away this narrative that you are not worthy, wash away greed where one consumes merely to consume and not to enjoy life, wash away this desire for validation. We cannot cleanse ourselves under the materials destined for others we must awaken ourselves to the tools and measures given to us so we may liberate and cleanse ourselves from this illusion.

woman standing while carrying laptop

I may not be completely free from my societal grasp, i may not be awakened to the degree that is necessary but i am a constant awareness not only of myself but of the world around me. There lies this beautiful warm embrace in solitude, its moments in time when one dances with the spiritual self and connects deeply, its an understanding that although alone in the physical sense that you are surrounded by the universe as you etch closer to understanding your role in this experience called life. This life is this beautiful canvas whereby one paints an image to the world of who they truly are, an image that time itself cannot wash away and in that notion comes an understanding of how beautiful each moment is, good or bad, happy or sad but deeper these are moments where one can discover themselves. Although this life is a ball of bullshit as i like to say i chose a long time ago to take this experience in in totality, the good the bad the evil, i promised never to give up to constantly challenge myself to delve deeper within every scope of “My Life” and over time what i found within the cracks, the smiles, the pain and the bullshit was a beauty unlike anything imaginable but a deeper beauty that was spoke of me….completely aligned in the realization that i was part of a collective, “I AM BECAUSE WE ARE”.

four people holding puzzles pieces

Speak Life